Adult Grief and Bereavement


“Grief comes in unexpected surges . . . Mysterious cues that set off a reminder of grief. It comes crashing like a wave, sweeping me in its crest, twisting me inside out. Then recedes, leaving me broken.”                                                          ~ Toby Talbot

Isn’t it surreal that you can be so preoccupied by your grief that it seems to define your very existence … and yet people pass by and don’t notice it at all? The aching pain of grief and bereavement can last for what seems an eternity. “When will I ever feel better?!”, you ask yourself. During the grief process, many people are surprised at the overwhelming feelings that a loss brings. Grief is a healthy, human response to loss and having some depression during the grief is quite normal. We are available to guide you through the healing process.

Signs of Grief

After the loss of a spouse, parent, or child there is normal grief work ahead for the bereaved. Begin by recognizing the physical, emotional, and mental signs of grief and loss:

  • Loss of appetite, dry mouth, and tightness in the throat
  • A sense of emotional numbness, disbelief, and an inability to concentrate
  • Time seeming to stand still
  • Visualizing your loved one in familiar places
  • Thinking about your loved one most of the time
  • Waking early with a sense of emptiness when remembering your loss
  • Changes in family relationships and roles
  • Crying spells during the day
  • Trembling spells accompanied by a sense of fear
  • Inability to sleep or sleeping more than usual
  • Lack of motivation
  • Anger at God, doctors, yourself, or your loved one for dying
  • Painful holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries

    If You Are Experiencing Grief …

  • Realize that grief and bereavement are normal and you will need time to recover.
  • Allow time for tears and expressions of grief
  • Eat properly, exercise daily, and have daily quiet time of prayer or meditation
  • Get back into a routine as soon as you can
  • Allow time for family and friends
  • Begin to take pleasure in the things you enjoy doing: hobbies, eating out, etc.
  • Establish a sense of belonging by joining church and community groups
  • Have family gatherings on important dates and plan a ritual for your loved one such as a candle lighting
  • Join a bereavement support group offered through Mercy Hospice
  • Signs of progress in your grief work include the recognition of your new reality and that you are the one who must work to create new meaning and purpose in your life

    Grief and Bereavement Groups

    Mercy Hospice offers grief and bereavement classes throughout the year, staffed by trained professional counselors to help people deal with normal and abnormal feelings of grief.

    Support groups are extremely helpful because a group provides the grieving person with mutual support, empathy, and understanding. We offer:

  • One-on-one Support: Short-term individual and pastoral counseling
  • Grief Support Groups: Specially designed groups for children and adults who are experiencing grief due to the loss of a loved one. Please check with our Chaplain, Loran Bulla, for the next series of free support groups.
  • Correspondence Program: Written material containing suggestions for coping with grief is mailed to your home during the first most difficult year

    Special Occasions & Holidays

    How will you spend the holidays or other special occasions such as birthdays and anniversaries? What will others expect of you this year? How will you respond to invitations? Are you up to writing cards, buying gifts, etc? The holidays and other special days are a particularly difficult time if you have lost someone you love. The following articles may give you some ideas and insight into how others have dealt with these occasions:

  • Healing Grief Rituals

  • Coping With Holiday Grief

  • Coping With The Holidays Checklist



    • Interested in learning more about a support group? If you would like to speak to our Bereavement Counselor about our services, please contact:

    Elizabeth Mazurkiewicz
    Ph: 843-347-5500   |   Fx: 843-347-5535
    emazurk@mercyhospice.org

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